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Katie Sanders

The Bad Mama

So this morning, me and the kids were getting ready and my curling iron was on. I told Haisten “don’t touch that baby, that will hurt you”. “Hurt me, Mama?” Like he didn’t quite understand. You could tell he so really bad wanted to touch it just to see for himself. Maybe he didn’t believe me? I don’t know, but I do know this: sometimes we make choices that hurt us. Sometimes we’ve been warned and sometimes not so much, but the hurt is still the same. I remember my Gracie telling me after my first pretty big mistake as an almost adult, “lessons learned are lessons lived.” I’ve carried that with me through all of my messes. Some hurts you just can’t ever comprehend until you’ve done it yourself. I don’t suggest it, but sure touch it anyway. Ouch, right? So the point… sometimes hurt is just unavoidable.. but what about that hurt that isn’t? What about that deliberate, intentional hurt? Earlier in the week… someone called me a bad mother. And amongst nine million other things I have going on, I chose to hold on to that piece of negativity all week. You want some truth? I’m not a bad mom, but I probably don’t belong in the Harvard league of moms either. Yesterday I got up without brushing my hair, put a hat on, and took my baby to school- sweet Gracie stayed home with me. While her brother was at school, I didn’t sit at a table and practice shapes or colors with my two year old, we ate left overs for lunch and fast food for dinner and I was off all day. I didn’t do laundry yesterday either so I’m probably a bad wife, too. But I did tell my babies I love them over and over; I did chase them all over the house with monster hands, over and over. I pushed them in the swings; I tickled their noses with mine. I made sure they had baths and their teeth were brushed even though I can’t promise you I brushed my own- gross, right? My hair never got brushed either, hat all day. Unashamed, about the hair at least. Mamas, it happens. I’m not a bad Mama, I just may do it different than you somedays. Unnecessary hurt. Intentional hurt. Be kind people. Choose good. Do good. If you want good days… you have to BE good days. My heart hurts for anyone that finds satisfaction in evils of the tongue; it truly is the most powerful muscle. Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words can crush a spirit.

If your hurting today, even if you did it to yourself, I pray that peace pursues you… and if your happy and unhurt, I pray you can share that happy with something nice for others as you finish up your week. And shout out to my mamas, may your hair and teeth be brushed and your kids in bed on time- because THAT is a good day ?? PS-were having pizza for supper Love y’all, Katie

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