Ever sat back and watched your kids play and just be amazed at the simplicity of the things that are entertaining? My three year old son is obsessed with a shopkin (bc that’s a thing now?) and my older babies watch videos of other kids playing with shopkins? I don’t understand it.. but I do have a perspective on one of my childhood toys… the jack in the box. Wind and wind and wind and to no surprise- a man pops out when things get too tight. Life is our box, Jesus is our jack, and we’re still the idiot twisting the handle. Why do we wind ourselves this way? Circle after circle, almost methodically searching for a way to fix it, a way to improve our situation, our circles even… but in this toy, in this life we don’t get to decide when is “too tight”- we don’t get to choose when He pops out- not the jack or the Jesus. Maybe sometimes we’re so destructive with our choices that we speed up the process of His appearance, churning the handle- cranking error after error until He’s like hold up now girl, that’s enough… but I’d agrue that the more we seek to fix things ourselves- the tighter he allows us to spin the rope. “Give us aid against the enemy, for human help is worthless” psalm 60:11 Y’all, the enemy is not that girl that started the rumor or that guy that broke your heart… the enemy is always, always Satan. Satan himself, not what (or who) Satan utilizes but him personally. Now when we fret over people, it’s just unwarranted. Do not be mad at the people or things that cause discord in your life- feel sorry for them- that they have let Satan manipulate what’s personal to them to in turn- attack what is person to you. I tell y’all over and over- the devil knows you. Now.. back to this box. Tell me.. why do we have Jesus in a box to begin with? Carrying Him around dormant with a handle to spin every time we’re angry, or hurting, or just exhausted and just when we need Him to appear so He can deliver a smile. I had a moment this morning with the enemy, one of many this week. It wasn’t a big one but THE one that finally melted to tears and I told my husband “Baby, I’m just so tired. I just don’t understand some of these things and I don’t feel the comfort of His hand this week even though I know I’m in it.” He half smiled and said “Katie you know the Bible, you know Gods people, and you’ve even encouraged other people in these exact situations- this isn’t something you don’t know but I’ll remind you anyway.. Gods people have trials; they suffer. They always have, but just when Paul thought he couldn’t go anymore- God threw him a little nugget- just enough to remind him, Hey you see me? I’m here.” I looked at him with tears in my eyes and said Neal, you know I’m a hungry baby, I’m more of a ten piece kind of girl.. and we both smiled. I’m learning in ministry that the same God I tell you about also lives with me. So why am I too, guilty of putting Jesus in a box? I’m just breaking pieces of my Jesus off and mailing off bites of Him to those of you that need that specific piece and then forgetting to check the mail myself. Those same pieces that I’ve shared with you- live in me- infinitely. I can mail and tell and share and send and my box is the same.. full… arguably fuller if that’s even a thing. So is yours. It’s so easy for us to tell the parents that lost their child everything happens for a reason, that person with cancer that it’s all in Gods timing, all in His hands, or to the struggling marriage there is purpose in your pain- there’s a reason for this struggle you are fighting. That’s good advice, right? That’s good enough isn’t it? Then why doesn’t it feel sufficient when the shoe is on the other foot? Maybe you’ve mailed off a lot of your pieces too? But you still have it. That gift is unfailing, unending, infinite, forever. Open your box. Don’t repeat the tedious cycle of twisting yourself to exhausted, waiting for the savior to pop out just before the handle breaks.. only to push Him back down until the next tragedy. Open the box- share what’s in there.. and always always remember this… His truths are always there.. for the friend who needs them.. and for you… and even me too.

Let’s look together at Philippians chapter 1:1-11.

Hey girls! After much prayer and due to significantly bigger projects going on with Mess and Mercy, I’ve decided to do Bible book studies instead of the LifeWay series studies, they will run much the same way- we will just be reading scripture with my own content! Breaking down the word with life application! With that being said, let’s take a vote! Which book do y’all want to start in? Comment or message me to cast your vote!! 1-Hosea 2-Phillipians 3-Titus 4-1st Peter We will start asap! Love y’all! Katie

I’ve been a little absent over the last two weeks, I apologize. I have been settling my heart on some big decisions and also celebrating my husband welcoming the big 3-0 this weekend. I’ve been away from paper, but I promise you guys haven’t been away from me. I was driving home from work last night just in awe, after finishing up the last few chapters of Job, at God’s wonder. We live in such a cruel, broken world… and still..He painted the most beautiful sunset, kissing the skies the prettiest pink as breakss of light shone through the fullest, whitest clouds, just enough wind to make the pasture wave back. I had to just stop. How can something so ugly be so beautiful? Then I thought about Gods relationship with world, a constant battle with good vs evil.. and then I thought about His relationship with us- unending, explicit, unconditional love. If He sees fit to paint a sky of sin with that kind of beautiful sunset, what could He paint in us if we’d only let Him. I think so many people fear a complete surrender to the Lord because people know they can’t get it all right. I can’t do all of those things He asks.. even when I try to be a better person I just can’t. I’ve got a bad mouth one day and a bad attitude the next. Paul, Romans 7, talks about this same frustration. God I love you and I want to do right. The things I want to stay away from, I run to. The things I want to run to, I stay away from. Even when I try to do right, try to live your law, try to be good, evil finds me anyway. ……But then there’s chapter 8- 1st verse. “Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus.” The verses continue to say you are set free. For what you are POWERLESS to fight off, God fought for you when He put His son on that cross. Sigh of relief, right? Of course we’re going to get it wrong- but listen..This is grace. There’s no condemnation, y’all. No punishment. it’s bled on, painted over, paid for, my deposit has been made and so has yours. Deserving His blessings and the freedom to receive them are two very different things. We are, have always been, will always be underserving of His love… He lived to die. Blood for error. I fall so short so many times; I need a savior, we all do. And. We. Have. One. That’s why we have to receive Him with humility, because we’ve got to know we will never deserve it… and that’s okay. The only thing we can get wrong, the biggest mistake to make, is not loving the man that can make it all right. I know I’m not perfect, thank God I don’t have to be. I find it exhausting just trying to be me with error, much less me without it. All I have to offer is a broken spirit Lord, one with a past full of shame and regret, it’s my only sacrafice- and you Lord will not despise it. Psalm 51 brings me so peace. It’s OKAY. Peace to just tears. Don’t be intimidated by failing God. it doesn’t count that you can’t stop making the same mistakes over and over- what counts is that you want to. Not actions, but heart. What does your heart want? Keeping wanting better for you because of Him, watch how He loves you for it, and your sin? How he loves you despite it. Quit trying to understand it. You can’t. You weren’t supposed to. That’s how great He is- Great beyond what we can imagine. Don’t analyze it, don’t fear it, just receive it for what it is- for what He is- just Good. If He chooses to paint that kind of beauty on the canvas of a world full of hate, just imagine what He would choose in you. There’s a blank page waiting, turn it. Xoxo Katie #GodTruthTeachMeGuidemeHopeitrustinYou #Mercychristfollowerofchristproblemschristianbloggerjesusheisgood #messandmercymessandmercyblogforgiven

Our last week with this study is looking at Jesus. His humanness. “Not only so, but we also glory in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance, perseverance, character, and character hope” Romans 5:3-4 Is it ever hard for y’all to picture Jesus as human? Like you hear people say “sweet baby Jesus” but that’s an actually reality. When I think of Jesus, I picture our stained glass windows with a bearded man wearing a crown of thorns… not a toddling toddler having to learn life as we did, only doing it perfectly. In His humanness, Jesus knew suffering. Obviously on the cross, but so many times before that. Isaiah 53 verse three tells us he was despised, rejected.. a man familiar with pain and suffering. Does that not just break your heart? Blatant miracles were performed and people stilled denied His existence. Like how is that even possible? I cannot even wrap my mind around it. Now that I’m saved in the real way, I’ve studied very in depth the death of Jesus and the days leading up to the new covenant… now I cannot read about it, study it, without crying.. like not just a few tears but just desperate sobs over His time spent in the garden of Gethsemane before His capture, feeling the weight of what was coming- asking God for another way please… knowing there wasn’t one. One of His chosen, one of His twelve, turning Him over to His executors with a kiss. A KISS. And you thought that junior high three way call was backstabbing… His very best friend, in the darkest days of His life, denied Him over and over.. not only did He suffer, but alone. Jesus knew suffering. One of my most favorite parts of The Crucifixion, other than the obvious, is in Luke 23 verses 39-43. Jesus had been brutally beaten, ridiculed, received insult after insult, was spat on, was so debilitatingly broken that He had to be carried the remaining steps to His death… and hanging on that cross.. He still saved a life. He saved one of those mans soul minutes before He saved all of ours. That is my God. My tears speak for my heart every time I read about his death. Tetelestai He said. It is finished, paid in full. So much sadness and so much joy in that truth. I’ve never know what it was like to be both so sorry and so thankful. At the beginning of Jesus ministery, Jesus was led into the desert- without food for 40 days and was tempted by the devil. Weak. Hungry. Without. And the devil offered Him food… how many times have you been in a weak place in your life and the devil offer you a solution? How many times have you taken it? How many times did it help? Time after time after time I have let the devil patch the holes of my heart only for the stitches to break loose leaving an even bigger hole with significantly worse damage. I didn’t learn and I didn’t stop. I kept running away from my problems.. into bigger problems. Finally and unfortunately, it took so much hurt, so many failed patches- that I had backed myself into a corner that left me without a place to run… I was finished with patches, it was time for a perfector. “Man shall not live on bread alone” Luke 4:4 You can’t fix it, not alone. Jesus was filled with the Holy Spirit, led by the Holy Spirit, and when weak, hungry, and in need- He resisted with the Holy Spirit. Not by bread alone. Perservence in the trials, not by bread, but by the words of the Lord.

An unwanted pregnancy The murder of a friend A dead baby That’s skimming the surface. One choice. One mistake. If you could see the consequences of your sin before you took that chance- would it change your mind? Why can’t we let our conscience be enough? Why do we have to get it wrong and feel how much it isn’t right later.. when that’s what our hearts told us the entire time? God always gives us an escape from our sin. We don’t have to keep digging a hole. David committed adultery.. and instead of taking Gods escape, he also became a murderer.. digging deeper and deeper into sin, desperately trying to keep hidden what will always eventually come to light. For every good escape Jesus has provided, Satan has also prepared a way- his looks easier, prettier, better… but it’s not. All sin has consequences, therefore both paths will have some pain but I’d much rather suffer my consequences under the love and correction of Jesus (trust me, I have) than under the manipulative destruction of satans flowered path to hell. Temptation. It’s not what you think you want, it’s actually what you don’t have. “Those who live according to the flesh have their minds set in what the flesh desires; but those who live in accordance with the spirit have their minds set on what the spirit desires. The mind governed by the flesh is death, but the mind governed by the Holy Spirit is life and peace” romans 8:5-6 A government only provides the way and a set of consequences for when you refuse that way.. but which way are you walking. Which punishment do you want. Love y’all, Katie #temptationmessandmercymessandmercyministriesgodmakesawayconsequenceswalkwithmysavior

Y’all I’m sorry. Today for the first time since I started small group in January, when my followers woke up they did not have an e-mail in their inbox with a prepared message. I’ve cried over this weeks material multiple times over the last several days. I have such a heart now for people and this small ministry that I need it to matter; to make a difference. That’s what this is supposed to be about, right? Growth. Ironically enough, this week’s study is on women of influence. It talks about Mary, Esther, and Lydia. All are beautiful pictures of character for different reasons. Mary was humble, Esther was beautiful and brave, Lydia was kind and hospitable. The fourth influence example, day four in your book.. is you… Me. as an influence. And that is so heavy for me. I have the biggest fear of failing you all. I have a very small circle of people close to me; if you asked any of those people what is closest to my heart- all of them, including my husband himself, would tell you Jesus, this ministry, you guys. As a person that has known little success, I get consumed sometimes with failure here. Maybe if I would have said it this way, she would have understood better how Jesus loves her for this or that; how He loves her regardless. James says that teachers of His word are held to a higher standard of law, Lord PLEASE help me to conduct myself in a way that shows others that I love you, Please don’t let me unintentionally make the wrong mistake in front of the right person and misrepresent you and what you stand for. Work out your faith in fear and trembling He says, over and over and over in the Word and y’all in my other life, my old life, I’ve failed so much. I’ve failed as a person repeatedly, I’ve failed marriage, I’ve failed financially , as a friend, as a mother. I’ve just failed. I’ll fail again and because of that little word- influence- that is heavier now than it’s ever been. Usually I’ve always had the words for small group… and when I don’t, I pray over it and God gives them to me. It’s never been hard. He fills my heart, and I pour it to a keyboard. Sometimes I wake up at 3 in the morning the day of and write because that’s when God says “here you go.” Easy. This week, the closer the time came, the heavier my heart got. After about an hour of complete tears, I had talked myself into just skipping Tuesday this week and God said, “Katie, just be honest.” So a little off base, instead of talking about Mary, Esther, and Lydia and giving you a biblical history lesson, we’re going to talk about 2corinthians 4, a reference text that the book uses on day four.. and what my heart says.

The net, the hook, and the sort… this week’s study uses an analogy of fishing. “They were casting a net into the lake, for they were fishermen. Come follow me, Jesus said, and I will send you out to fish for people. At once they left their nets and followed Him.” Matthew 4:18-30 These men were looking for fish, but we’re looking for lovely. We are collecting the good pieces in all of the bad stuff; that’s what this study has been about. The net. When you’re fishing with a net, you look for a shiny fish. You see a glimmer and you cast out the net. Fish travel in schools so if you see one, you’ll likely catch more with the same net. But you have to be looking; you have to pay attention. We have to choose to have eyes to see the everyday moments around us that are worth holding on to- to see that God is good. Every now and then you will come up with some good- something to encourage you and remind you not to quit. The hard days and empty nets will be worth it because sometimes the nets are full.. but only when we look for the glimmer, eyes open, can we enjoy the times of emptiness. Those of you who know me personally know that my circumstances over the last year and a half have been less than ideal. It’s been the BEST worst year of my life. I grew up being one of the popular kids. I’ve lived in a lot of different places because of my childhood, but I’ve never had a problem fitting in anywhere… I was always mostly liked, easy to get along with, always had plenty of friends. Until I moved where I live now. And even then, that got worse. Accusations and unpopularity from people who had never taken the time to know me as a person set hard with me, I was brought to my absolute lowest. Thank God, because it drove me to Jesus. In the midst of one of the biggest trials of my life, God began to show me the good. Who He was, how He loves, what it means to love him back, what it means to trust Him, to rely on Him, to be pleasers of Him and not pleasers of people. Learning these things, applying them to your heart- to your life; it shows you how much good there really is, even when it seems like it’s not. Even when it feels like the world is against you, He is right there; walking with you, handing you blessings that will be so unnoticed unless you’re looking for them. He has taught me so much.. about life, about how to be a person. He’s still teaching me.

Musicians: This week carries us through songs of the Bible (and some stories of the old testament which I’ve come to love) First lets start with Daniel 2:20-21 “Praise be to the name of God for ever and ever; wisdom and power are His.  He changes times and seasons; he deposes kings and raises up others.  He gives wisdom to the wise and knowledge to the discerning.” Ecclesiastes 3 tells us there is a time for everything; a season and a reason. He knows… what is dark to you is controlled by Him. It takes time with God to understand what it means to praise in all seasons. Even when we’re young, either in years or in faith, practice matters. Practice is what perseverance is all about. In exodus chapter 15… God has just delivered the Israelites from Egypt by parting the red sea. Through Moses, He parted the waters, let Israel pass through and when the Egyptians headed in after them, God dropped the water and dropped the mic. Killed em all. The chapter before 15 say He washed the bodies of the Egyptians up on the shore and they lay there dead. This was a long battle of plagues and pursuit from the Pharaoh against God’s people and God wanted to show His people it is finished. Here is your proof, He say. Exodus 15 is a song of praise over this victory. In your unfailing love you will lead the people you have redeemed. In your strength you will guide them to your holy dwelling. Exodus 15:13 His love is unending, unfailing even. He guides us in to goodness, by whatever means necessary, and never intends us any harm. We have to remember this as the seasons change. Sometimes God will part water to save your soul, and others? You will be thirsty. Right after this, the people were led into the desert and were without water for three days. They questioned why. These people just saw God raise a sea long enough for them to escape before He crushed the enemy and THREE days later they’re back to doubt? We have to pocket the good moments, recognizing God’s provision when things are still challenging and hard, and worshiping through it all. That’s what makes faith. When things seem hard and unsure and you don’t totally know where it is you’re going? You gotta sing from there. you have to persevere there, let these times build character in you. God starts at the beginning…. but us? we decide what we grow in the middle. You don’t get to decide what happens to you; you only get to decide how you respond to it.

#messandmercymessandmercyblogshamebeautyforgiven

-first things first… I LOVE these passages. Okay… moving on..Matthew 13:1-9

The scale. Spring scales measure weight, which is a force, by balancing the force due to gravity against the force on a spring. Thanks Wikipedia, but let me tell you what a scale really is… it’s a box of display for a series of numbers incapable of measuring worth, but completely capable of packing “a force.” When this display balances numbers, it doesn’t take into consideration the hours you’ve worked or the household you’ve managed; Your kids and husband or your thyroid disorder. It doesn’t measure your heart or your feelings, and it certainly doesn’t subtract the things that you’ve poured out of yourself for the benefit of others- things like kind words of encouragement or the smiles that could easily have been replaced with tears. It’s defeating. For the one thing it does measure, there are a million things it doesn’t so WHY do we get so discouraged over the worth of a number a box produces that doesn’t take them time to evaluate ALL of us, but rather just one portion. An insignificant portion. Y’all, I am 5’10. I weigh 143lbs and I’ve had possibly five bathtub break downs JUST THIS WEEK…and it’s only Wednesday.. do that math. WHY. Why are we jealous of 115lbs, of perfect messy hair, and the impressively unscary no-make up faces? We are in a constant battle of comparison and for what?