I’m sorry I didn’t cry family, I know you’re sad, me too She’s grown me most my life, you know- she helped grow all of you too Of course I’ll miss her everyday, for reasons more than one- what’s so great about death, you see, is her battle is finally won. I’ll no longer feel her hands on me, to tell me it’s okay- but I’ll feel her whispers in my heart every time I pray We will never hear that laugh again, see the room light bright when she smiles- praise god she’s not tired anymore though, she’ll be with us miles and miles I’m sorry I didn’t cry family, I know your sad, me too But she said don’t worry about me please, it’s all I ask of you We never want to say goodbye, no one wants that pain- but she met our Perfect Father y’all, there’s nothing better to gain No, you can’t hug her again or hear I love you hun but Step outside and breathe the air, she’ll kiss you with the sun So much light has turned so dark, I know it’s hard to see- I’ve been here before with God once a baby now as me, The grass is green, the waters still, the light so righteously bright Enjoy my memories, but live your life- I’ve finally won my fight To the right of the Father I’ll sit right here I’ll watch you every day, I know you don’t feel it now, my babies, but you’re going to be okay This is how He planned it, His will shall always be- But I’ve lived a long life baby, so don’t you cry for me For my sweet Gracie and anyone else experiencing a tough loss. Hugs

This is a lot of material. I’m going to go over the bulk and then leave questions for discussion that I don’t usually do because… they’re GOOD QUESTIONS. If you only have a second, close it now, and come back with a pen and paper. So… the heart, righteousness, and practice I spoke a little bit on the heart the other day to kind of prepare you for what’s coming. God worked on my heart for months to make me see how messy I was so if you don’t have the nasty answers to what’s wrong in your heart… keep looking. It’s in there, I promise. So why are our hearts important? Life flows from this, ladies. If you have a broken heart, I can promise you will make compromised decisions resulting in a broken life. We have to get honest with God (don’t be scared, He already knows you lied to your husband about that package that was delivered). Get honest with God and HE will help you get honest with you. That’s why the truth is first; know the truth, let it seep through the cracks of your brokenness, and then let it flow girl but the more truth you get, the more you better guard it. The devil is waiting for the perfect opportunity- seriously just watching.. just like you are for that Victoria secret sale.. sitting on go, lemme get that 40% and a free tote. He’ll try and take your new peace and throw in some more insecurities to boot for free. Now.. righteousness. You’re wearing the truth, getting adjusted in those new shoes and it’s that righteousness that will learn you some stuff about you. For those with their bibles out, turn to 1 kings 12:25-33. This place talks about someone seeking to adjust God’s standards to fit his personal convenience. Oh hey, these shoes are cute, but I but they’d be a little more comfortable if I could… naw, girl. We think God shoud be willing to adjust His standard to suit us; cut us some slack and His perfect standard becomes some kind of modified watered down version of the truth. Like those Victoria secret sales. Spend $125 dollars and I’ll give you a bag for free. No, no maam- you bought all of that, that bag too. We had to buy ALL of Jesus. Not just the pieces we like. So legit righteousness is Jesus. The absolute perfect standard. That’s easy. These other two types though. Comparative and imputed. Shew, lemme tell you. Comparative righteousness. “Well me and Katie went to church today, and no sooner than she left I heard her say an ugly word. I know I’m a better Christian than she is.” YALL, NO. Even if your actions are better than someone else’s, they’re still not better than God’s. Being the better person does not make you a perfect one. I did something bad m, but she did something worse so I must be okay, let’s talk about her instead. You cannot justify sin- I don’t care how bad your grandmothers sisters cats neighbor acted last week. It don’t matter. Sorry. Stop that. Stop judging, you and I are both guilty parties. We killed a man, ladies. HE DIED FOR US. Really think about that… which brings us to the next one. Imputed righteousness. Just because we killed Him doesn’t give us the entitlement to walk around making allowances for just whatever because well hush, Jesus died for me- “all that sin of yours? We’ll just forget about all that OK?” Again, no. If someone killed someone you loved wouldn’t you want them to be accountable? I would. Yes, your sins have been accounted for but you don’t want to mop your floors clean and then track them up with dirty boots do you? Yes, I know that’s what husbands and kids are for. The point is you are clean, but be accountable for putting an innocent man on the cross. Try to STAY as clean as you can; you won’t be able to. You will stumble around every day like anybody wear new and unfamiliar shoes but try. And the more you try- the easier it gets. So let’s practice now. “Put off your old self, which belongs to your former manner of life and is corrupt through deceitful desires and…. put on the new self, created after the likeliness of God in true righteousness and holiness” eph 4:22-24 We all have different outfits we’re wearing we need to let go of. We’re comfortable there. Let me tell you nothing about my transition has been comfortable. You have no idea how much criticism the devil will throw at someone trying to better their life for Jesus, certainly one with a past. So what. It’s been worth it. Take it off. A few things Paul says to get rid of: falsehood, keeping anger, stealing, unwholesome talk, no rage or bitterness, sexual morality impurities and greed. Take it off. But take comfort in knowing that just because you’ve gotten undressed does not me your automatically with a new closet. Putting off does not automatically mean putting on. IT IS A PROCESS. He says to get dressed with gentleness, patience, truth and honesty, kindness and compassion, FORGIVENESS AND LOVE. Don’t get caught up in trying to practice your way to perfect, practice God. Wax off, wax on y’all. He’s doing something this very minute to help you do what you otherwise could not. The change. It starts slow. He slowly transforms your soul- gets your mind going, changes your will, and then your heart. “Putting aside all filthiness and all that remains of wickedness, humbly receive the word implanted, which will save you. But prove yourselves doers, not just hearers. James 1:21-22 you know what your wrongs are, set them aside and really listen for His word. It will save you… but do. In order to move forward you have to step. We are being saved more and more each day from the person we used to be. #MessandmercyReligionArmorofgodPutOnFaithTruthJesus

The Testimony… not a sermon but a story. My story. God said somebody needs it, and honestly, I’m not using the pain anymore… so I’ll share it with you, BUT. READ. IT. ALL. Guard your heart above all else, for everything you do flows from it -Proverbs 4:23 Guard your heart. If you have the time. grab a pen a paper. Write down what it means to you.. to “guard your heart” discuss it with me after this read. The stage prop… at the ripe age of 16 my Dad died-suddenly; my mother, shortly after, went to rehab for alcohol (advised by an attorney) to hopefully terminate a trip to prison for felony DUI, ends up in jail anyway, and in the midst of that- the home that I grew up in burned to the ground, it and what was left of my father’s belongings. Having been a victim of rape at the early age of 10 years old, I was already a very angry child- then all of this in a span of about six months, I had packed alot of life into 16 years.. I also sacked up alot of anger. What kind of God does this to a child? to anybody? I can tell you now, it’s one that knew exactly what He was doing… and I’m so very grateful. Those little pieces of me are growing big pieces for Him. Guard your heart to me used to mean guard my life. I’m an independent, self sufficient, can’t check my own oil, scared to kill my own spiders, but I wont let you know it, you can’t help me or hurt me- invincible kind of girl. and God said nah, probably not there pumpkin. You’re heart is the seat of your life. The source of it all. What’s in your heart, what are you not letting out, what are not letting in? “A good man brings good things out of the good stored up in his heart, and an evil man brings evil things out of the evil stored up in his heart. For the mouth speaks what the heart is full of.” Luke 6:45 Really think about those words. I didn’t personally invite those things into my life, but I did personally get just pissed mad at Jesus and elected to kick Him out and hold on to that resentment. And it kept showing back up… on my mouth, my circumstances, how I viewed my life, and ultimately how I lived it. Y’all, I’ve been there, some way or another. And I’m so sorry. God told me this morning that I was only half-answering what He asked of me. I have been holding back some pain that I don’t even use anymore- pain that He can use. I’ve tried to show y’all, (anyone really, that was really willing to listen) just how REAL this transition has been for me, praying in tears, hungry for the bible in a need-it way, kind of is this real life? kind of way. Hey God, after all of this time just HEY. It’s so nice to know you- way. How can I expect people to see where my heart is if they have no idea where it was? People don’t need another convicting sermon from me, y’all need the story. I have no idea what you are holding on to, but I promise you I know what you need to hold in and its Him. This little journey that I started, I was just putting some good words with some good books, maybe it’s helped somebody- maybe it hasn’t but I do know now it’s more than that, my work is bigger that words. The train was on the track, but it wasn’t cranked. Do trains even crank? I mean maybe but, whatever-the point is… I’m not here for words on a page. I want to help you. I’m here to love you (in a non-weird way), To talk with you, grow with you.To show you that even the darkest times have seriously the brightest lights. I don’t care what it is guys. He’s bigger, better, best. I wish I could pour it over all of you, put each of you in this same place of completely broken beauty. Being weak is the advantage because it is our dependence on Christ that fills the cup. Stop being Miss “I can” and be the “I can’t, but He can.” Let me assure you, you will never be what you pretend to be… not your life, not your ability to parent, not your marriage. Image is nothing, and pretend is just a dress up form of life. We get tired, we go through hard times, we make stupid choices, we wear our selves out chasing the dream instead of embracing the life!! I had poured to the bottom of my cup, I didn’t even have any more anger to fill it up, I had ran dry of everything but tears. Sitting in my bed, alone, feeling the literal weight of just everything on my shoulders.. as an ex-wife, a mother, a new wife, of just a person and then I cried some more. Real, desperate tears. and I didn’t pray.. because that had not worked the other times. It was when I realized I couldn’t, physically, emotionally just could not do it anymore that He whispers to me “Choose me, I can.” God knew my heart that night in bed. He knew how I felt, I didn’t have to tell Him. Out of all the the pain my life has known, divorced parents, spending time in a domestic violence shelter because my mom was finally brave enough to remove my sister and I from marriage gone terribly wrong (I remember so vividly when my dad quite literally witnessed the life almost beat out of her when I was in the 3rd grade, the day I missed the annual sock hop), rape, addiction, death, and more divorce. He knew it was time. My heart was empty, finally. He did in me what it took to empty it out and make room for something indescribable. He chipped away piece by piece and made room for Him. I’m thankful for every single pain. Each one taught me a little something different. My cup is empty, maybe even a little lumpy, but my heart is full. What’s in your heart? Not what’s on your facebook, not even what’s on your face… what’s really in there? Guard your heart… but what’s in there…is it worth protecting? He takes the broken pieces and makes them beautiful Ecclesiastes 3:11 Ill continue with week three in the small group study on Tuesday, Its amazing material, but while preparing for that… God said this was for today. and He said it wasn’t just for my study group but for everybody. Share it. Share His work, yall. People need to know that broken is not defeat; broken is beauty.

Anybody else have a problem with “leaving the broken pieces where they lay”? My babies teach me so much about life, y’all. Let me pour you into a story just real quick! So Monday was my oldest daughter’s birthday;  she turned 8. She had a word search for homework and was rushing to finish it because obviously -hello- Cake. Presents. She was looking for the word “lawyer” and after looking at it for what I assume she thought was the appropriate amount of time, she found something that looked a little easier… “In all of this be glad, though now for a little while you may suffer grief in all kinds of trials.. these have come so that I can prove the genuineness of your faith- of greater worth than gold which persists even though refine by fire” -1st Peter 1:6-7 We can’t just fix it. We’re not going to “stop making it hurt.” We hurt for a reason, y’all. Im beginning to have some much joy in my pain because I’m learning just how purposeful it is- all beautifully crafted for a specific grow-point. We are being tested, not by Him, not for Him, but for us. God already knows how big (or how not big) our faith is. He’s the real MVP at know-it-all, right? He knows. These hard things, these difficult things- are to show us where WE are with our faith…or even where we’re not? Even pretty gold melts in fire. Our tough days are to bring us in to Him… to show us unlike gold, we don’t have to melt when we’ve been burned. Stop trying to force His will in your life, adding letter after letter to the mess just trying to make things line up or to be what you need them to be because guess what? They already are! There is nothing you can add or skip around that is going to majestically throw you off the course He has prepared for you. Leave the broken pieces where they lay; if it hurts? Love it, look through it, learn from it.  There is a reason. He has all of our letters laid out for us. Perfectly. They are in there even when we can’t find them. Just wait a second girl, slow down. He will help you- be willing to let Him! Love y’all Katie #HiswillbrokenpiecesGodreligiontruthMessandmercy

Father, Thank you for this life. Thank you for my mistakes. Thank you, also for not remembering them, but never forgetting me. You are good, Father, even when I am not. Teach me, Lord. Show me Your ways. Use me. Love me. Redemption is the idea that we have been purchased into permanent freedom. You paid my price, Your mercies never end. Guide me and lay my enemies at my feet; my hope is in You all day long. In you, God, I put my trust. Amen?? #GodTruthTeachMeGuidemeHopeitrustinYou

James 5: People. Pain. Patience. Prayer. The first part of James 5 talks about all the extra in our lives. It makes reference to money but James is actually addressing our hearts. “You have lived on earth in luxury and self-indulgence. You have fattened yourselves in the day of slaughter” -James 5:5. Take a minute and think about where you are, your life, your friends, even your dark places. What’s it full of? What role do you play in all of it? I’ll tell you my life and the things around me have changed significantly over a relatively short period of time, but my dark is the same. My heart is different, but my problems aren’t.I fatten myself with the opinions of others. Am I good enough; why are they looking at me like that; what are people saying this week. I’m almost ashamed to tell you that sometimes I let myself get swallowed up in what so-and-so’s neighbor’s sister’s cat said about me yesterday to the point that it is literally embarrassing. It was brought to my attention last week that someone has been bad mouthing my new relationship with Jesus and I literally tricked myself into thinking that something was more off about my faith than the girl that would talk about someone trying to love the Lord and do better. Y’all I seriously cried over that. Anything can become a problem in our lives when it consumes us and takes our focus off of the Lord. Every. Single. Day. We must come back to the Lord and who He is and how He changes our focus and desires. Last week I spent more time in a selfish rant than a spiritual walk…where was your heart? what were you focused on? consumed with? If your answer is not Jesus and shining His light, your week was likely as messy as mine. “Walk by the Spirit, and you will not gratify the desires of the flesh.” – Galations 5:16.. People and Patience. I realized last week just how lost people really are. Just kidding, I re-realized just how lost people really are. James5:9 says don’t grumble against one another. You never know what someone else is battling; remember that. People are bad, y’all. We are BORN to sin. Do you realize that means NATURALLY our instinct is to choose bad over good? Think about that, then consider your relationship with Christ and your daily choices. The people we pass during our daily routines are not in the same place that you are in. It’s hard to remember that when you feel like life is attacking you. Not only are you trying to keep your head above water in your own sin pool; you’re also trying to not drown the bad of everyone else. It is hard, you’ll fight it everyday… and sometimes you’ll sink. I had one those “this is getting me, I can’t breathe” weeks last week. then I remembered.. Pain. Pain does not control you. People do not control you. Your circumstances and the hurt others hurl at you..ALSO do not control you. It’s a process, for whatever reason. Like one of those annoying 1000 piece puzzles, you’re starting from a little box full of too many pieces. Each small piece in that pile of mess in that box serves purpose in our lives. If we skip one small piece, our picture would never be whole. You cannot skip steps to get where you need to go. A hole will always be a hole, but you will not notice it until you do. It will show up in your relationships, in your marriage, in your life.. and you will have never realized the damage an empty space can create until you’re standing right in the middle of it. unfortunately pain makes up much of those pieces laying in your box. Don’t ignore them; Don’t push them back. Acknowledge what hurts, pick up the piece and pray over it. If you don’t remember anything else I tell you, remember your pain is not purposeless, feel that to your very core. Be patient. I cannot tell you how many times I’ve said to me.. Katie, there is a reason here, you won’t know what it is until you do so just wait. He is with you. At the right time, that piece will wedge itself into its home spot and you will be able to see the bigger picture; the puzzle will look less like pieces and more like life. Patience. Wait. “Fix your eyes on not what is seen, but what is unseen.”- 2 corinthians 4:18 So then prayer. James tells us in chapter 4 verse 2 that if your prayers are unheard, you’re praying with the wrong motives, with self ambition. “If you believe, you will receive whatever you ask for in prayer.” -Matthew 21:22 Pray. Mean it. Have an intimate relationship with Christ and I promise, even in the nasty you will feel the peace. I’ve told you to be patient, to wait. Notice I didn’t say rest. Rest is defined as a bodily state of minimal function. Of course we can be still in the Lord, rest in Him… but that rest is prayer. It is praying that He will oversee and will His way on something you know you shouldn’t be interceding on and trying to fix yourself. Prayer, not lazy prayer, not minimal prayer. I’m learning more and more every single day what it means to be in a committed relationship with the Lord. It is work; It takes time, but it is beautiful. The Lord is in constant work in our lives, but the devil’s work is exceedingly persistent. The difference is the choice of evil is always more appealing when the choice of God does not always seem that way. BUT IT IS. The choice of good over unknowing evil is always better, Jesus is always better. Mediocre faith leads to mediocre happiness in life. You can’t, You won’t find something you are half looking for. People. Pain. Patience. Prayer. People are mean, Pain is painful, patience is hard, and prayer… it works. People, things, world… it will all try to hurt you.. purposefully… but this, whatever your this is, is not purposeless. Keep picking up pieces in prayer. Search every single dark corner of your life with Christ and take the steps to fill the holes, not leaving one single place unfilled. He will make you, your puzzle, complete. It will probably look like nothing like what you had imagine, but the pieces will come together with Him. It will take time. The beauty in it all though is this: God is never late, friends, and He is never wrong either. love you guys! xoxo, Katie

Goodmorning all Sunday Risers! I just wanted to share some quick thoughts on my quiet reading this morning before all of my little feets start hitting the floor!! Reading Job 15… let me start by saying for me, it’s been “one of those” weeks, and my week won.. sort of.. so.. in reference to that… “When all seems well, wanderers will attack” Job 15:21 I finally found a good place to rest in, I dealt with all the bad, chopped it all off, and moved forward into a deeper relationship with the Lord. I spend time with Him everyday, but I’ve rested. When you’re dealing with someone or something that is difficult… you’re most likely more on guard than when your days are full of sunshine. Correct? More prayer, more scripture, more involved. But y’all it’s when you’re in a GOOD place, when things are going WELL, you are doing WELL, that ugly tries to sneak in because your spiritual guard is planting flowers instead of actively protecting you. Rest, but don’t be lazy. Or you’ll be standing in your fresh flowers going “Seriously God, why today? What even happened just then?” God is constantly speaking gentle words of encouragement to us. Those words are just that; they are gentle. But sin? Sin is loud and engaging. Listen for Him; He will be the quiet voice behind that loud one saying “oh no.. just hold on, let me tell you….” “Your sin prompts your mouth…. your own mouth condemns you, not mine; your own lips testify against you” job 15: 5-6 I’ll say again.. sin is engaging. Plant your flowers, but protect your good place just like you prayed to get out of the bad one. Things- people- are just itching to tear you down, protect what’s yours and don’t involve yourselves in messy; Jesus will weed out the ugly for you. You won’t have to answer for how someone treated you, but you will have to answer for how you acted. “This is what the Lord says, I am making a way” Isaiah 43 As your week starts, rest in knowing He is already ahead of you, paving your way. He doesn’t put bad things in your path, but He does deal with them in His own time… Plant your flowers, listen to His quiet voice, and leave the pruning to Him.

If you’re wondering about what this small group is about, what it looks like.. here’s an piece of tonight’s study. Wrapping up tonight..Peace in Christ. How do we find peace in all the mess? Ladies, I don’t have the solidary answer to this questions, but I can tell you.. it starts with faith. Real faith. Not the kind that lets you post a bible verse on your Facebook only to go on about your day, but the active kind of faith. You have to be consistent in the word, feeding that relationship with our Lord. Like you spend time with your kids, your husband, your friends- SPEND TIME WITH HIM, in whatever way. Active participation. I’m not here to judge or convict or point out what youre doing wrong.. I’ve probably been there myself, I may be there again. I want to mentor you, to encourage you, to learn with you about digging deeper. Y’all I was trying to dig. And my hole got deeper and deeper. I had fake faith. I was the Bible verse poster; they show up on my Facebook memories and I cringe because I spelled all the words right, but I had no idea what they meant, how to feel them. It took a very dark experience, the straw on my personal camels back, that made me see my unforgiveness, my bitterness, my selfishness. All of my fault came piling into my hole I had dug myself into and suddenly, quite literally, I. COULD. NOT. BREATHE. And I prayed. Not the empty, selfish prayers I have been praying over for months and months to make my circumstances bright, but actual heart-felt, ugly crying, I cannot do this anymore, prayers. I meant it. Believe me when I tell you- it is by far the most peaceful, intimate moment I will ever have the pleasure of remembering in my life. My problems were no different, my circumstances looked the same… but I could breathe, and I knew why. Maybe you’ve had that moment already and something has pushed you to letting that fire burn soft, maybe you haven’t had that feeling at all, but I promise it is worth whatever price your life calls you to pay to get it back, to get it period. I will do everything I can’t to help you get there. Active faith. Here is my bible

“Be careful, then, how you live- not as unwise but wise, making the most of EVERY opportunity, because the days are evil.” Ephesians 4:23 If you had to look into your heart today.. your life, your friends, your desires, your priorities- given two options, where would you fall? The choices are 1- full of God 2- full of world I can tell you where I fell, where I thought I fell, and where I fall now. The choice of Jesus is the choice of peace; He is also the choice of war. Wait, what? Jesus is war? Yes. Every single day we’re engaged in a battle and the source of conflict is generally almost always found in our own selfish hearts. Our priorities and our desires build up our very own war. We create it for ourselves. Satan will use this to, quite literally, eat away at our spiritual ammo, taking piece by baby piece until he has rendered you completely helpless. “A friendship with the world means an enemy with God” James 4:4 The world, the devil, will use every attempt to pull you from the safety of Jesus’s arms; he will distract you with the prettiest deceit, creeping into every ounce of shadow, of every lie, or secret, or dark you’ve managed to conceal. There is one tool to fight this battle, and since you’ve allowed it to create itself- it is most certainly not just you. More light, more grace. Draw near to me, and I will draw near to you -James 4:8 Y’all, if you cannot feel his presences all things- good and bad, I promise you, your heart is not completely aligned with His. I’ve been there, I know. I have had all of my spiritual ammo taken, desperate for answers- prayer after every selfish, empty prayer unanswered. Feeling like I knew God, that my heart was good, that I was just unheard. I was not unheard, and shamefully I tell you, I was so caught up in myself that I did not even realize it. We are not perfect. We will be tempted. We are going to make mistakes. We will not always choose right. We will stumble. We will fail. The key here is not to fall. ACKNOWLEDGE you are not stronger than the world; you are not stronger than the devil and the evil he brings; you alone are not stronger than Christ. He is the winner of all things. The dark, the shadows, the world. Nothing has overcome him. Sometimes we trip ourselves up in even the worst of circumstances. Ashamed of how we’ve acted, ashamed of what we have done. That, y’all, is a step forward to aligning our hearts with that of God. CONVICTION. Knowing your mistakes, accepting your consequences. There is beauty in shame because there is beauty in Him. Stumble, but don’t fall. The consequences of our actions are much more easily endured through the grace of our Lord, Christ Jesus than from whatever dark, merciless pit the world (Satan) has manipulated you into jumping off in to. To be successful in this war, this every single day- war.. you have to, HAVE TO trust in Him. Little faith leads to little success- with conflict, with sin, and certainly with heart. You’ll choose wrong over and over, but with Him, even wrong is made right. I was not living for Jesus. I didn’t know him. I thought I did; I would have argued with you about it, but it wasn’t until I did know him, that I realized I didn’t. You can know OF Jesus without knowing Him. I pray you know the difference. I didn’t. #ChristLightInthewordMadeNewTrustUnfailingLovegracemercyshame

This is not proofed, not rehearsed, This is raw. The reward is greater, everybody. Feel it. Today I do not have a long elaborate story on “listen to what happened to me” or one particular story in the bible to lead what’s on my heart. So excuse the poorly prepared words, today is just Jesus mixed with some heart heaviness. Over the last couple of days, I’ve been reading pieces in Judges, Matthew, Genesis, and Job. As much as these books don’t have in common, they do. Are you harboring anger from your past? Settling in in the comfort of bitterness because well “I deserve to be bitter, that person did me wrong”? Maybe we’ve made some promises we shouldn’t have or had some promises broken, and it’s left us lost and hurting. Defeat has set in and it’s everything you can do to just push through the day, going through the motions in life, in marriage- like that is a healthy way to live. The things around you- the choices you’ve made- the influences of people, of things, of world… all of its swarming and you’re weak. Incase you didn’t know… YOU ARE WEAK. That is why you sometimes feel that way. Time and time again in the Bible we are shown that we just can’t, not without God. Pretend for one second you are strong enough to handle it on your own. “I don’t need anybody to take care of me. I can take care of myself.” I’ve said it. I’ve been so mad before that I found comfort in the thought of revenge- knowing good and well the difference between right and wrong. Over and over we will try and make allowances for our sin, justify the haughty ways in which we conduct ourselves because well “they did it first.” The more we try and show others our “Do it myself” attitudes, the more likely God is to come in and show you that you won’t. But… I’ve always heard do unto others because they first did unto you, right? No, y’all- not right.When we are willing to abandon the question of right or wrong and trade it for “I wonder if that would work; I wonder if I could some how get by with this,”… We have caused ourselves some serious spiritual grief. One of the biggest mistakes we can possibly make is letting God’s grace serve as a barrier of protection against us and our want to intentionally cause hurt to others. Self serving, I’ve said it before I’ll say it today; I’ll probably say it again. Serving yourself leads to a hostile life. Have you ever thought about how many battles you’ve engaged in with the “enemy” that actually started with a battle within yourself? Ever took two steps back and acknowledged your own accountability in the mistakes, the hurt, the anger? Not you, no way? THAT’S where we utilize God’s grace, His mercy, His UNFAILING, UNENDING love. Not for the justification of ill intent, but for heartfelt remorse of others, remorse for ourselves. If you’re feeling angry, bitter, defeated, or just lost… be careful. Even a person full of spirit is easily subjected to do foolish things. The holy spirit does not control us, He guides us, and that guidance can be resisted. Let it go; Don’t avenge, instead release. The more you hold onto in this life, the heavier your feet- the harder to move forward. Instead of letting a situation control your heart, How about giving your heart to Him to control? He wants to and He can. HUGS Katie #GodTiredMercyAngerReligiousRevengeRest

Roses are red, violets are blue- if you’ve been the wrong way, this post is for you. So the other day I was taking one of my tiny humans to a cheer performance, a basket ball game. Local. Just me and her; she requested that everybody else stay home. Enjoying our time, It’s a good night. She performs, they do great, and it’s time to leave. It’s dark outside, but I live here, right? So I’m familiar. No big deal. I mean except I’m scared of the dark but luckily Paytan packed a pair of my high heeled, suede boots to put on after her performance (yes, I’m serious) so worst case scenario, we have a weapon. Sort of. So we are in the car headed home when I realize… Oh heyyy that house is cute.. also hey… that’s not on our way home. I missed my turn. Maybe I wasn’t paying attention, maybe it was too dark and I just couldn’t see where I was going, maybe I’m just really bad with directions. The point is… I didn’t get lost that night in the dark.. but I have before. Ever taken a wrong turn? Maybe been a little inattentive to something important that kind of threw you of course? Yeah, me too. See where I’m going with this? Jesus walked on water. He puts his people in a boat and goes off to pray by himself. Unrelated to this actual story, note that He went to a quiet place alone to pray. By the time He got back, the wind was so bad it had blown the boat a good hop from land. No big deal for Jesus, He just steps on the water. Nevermind me friends; I’ll just walk on top of this wet, be there in a second. It scared them, something floating on water in the middle of night… I’d have been scared too. They thought it was a ghost. I’ll be honest, I probably wouldn’t have stayed around to see. Jesus told them hey guys, take courage, it’s me. Don’t be scared. Peter says show me, if it’s you, call me out there with you. and Jesus did. So Peter just hops out on the wet too and starts to walk. The wind starts to blow, and Peter gets scared. Here he is STANDING on water, LOOKING at Jesus RIGHT there and he was scared of some wind. He was INATTENTIVE to Jesus and he began to sink. He took his eyes off our Lord for just one second and down he went. He asked Jesus for help and Jesus immediately caught him mid-fall, saved him and they both went back to the boat. Can you imagine? I’m pretty scared of the dark, but I cannot comprehend being scared of anything with my eyes on Jesus. Maybe you’ve made a mistake that left you sitting in the dark. You’ve taken a wrong turn or just missed it all together; you’re looking for a way out of your mess, some peace. It could be that you’re still floating some, but because you’ve gotten comfortable you were a little inattentive to the things around you and now the wind is violently shaking your life like it was shaking Peter’s boat. Or you know you’re right or in the right place.. and it’s a little dark, but with a little light things will be fine. Jesus is light. and with him ANYTHING can be made new. I don’t care what your struggle is.. It’s all hard. Actually that’s a lie, I do care, but for the sake of point here… LET THE LIGHT IN. Turn it on and TRUST it. If it is right to trust Jesus at all, why not trust Him in everything? God will never ask you to do anything without guiding you through it. You can’t just dismiss your dark days, you have to find Jesus in them. You will never have things too hard or too easy that you don’t need Jesus. Have big faith, trust Him. Little faith will only accomplish great things for a little time.Get out of the boat. Come on He says. Come to me. When it gets dark His pain has purpose, I promise you’re learning something. So walk in the dark WITH him, keep your eyes forward and your head up and learn. If you’re doubting where you’re at or why you’re there…be careful.. your dark is taking you down, don’t lose to dark. Don’t sink. xoxo Katie #Mercychristfollowerofchristproblemschristianbloggerjesusheisgood #religionreligiousGod

Ever felt like you were standing in a circle of people (girls) and felt like (knew) you didn’t fit? Or maybe.. you are struggling with something.. a decision.. a people.. a loss… a just flat out problem… and you are just sure it’s winning? No matter which way you step or how many steps you take you just can’t seem to get ahead of it. Anybody been there? Let me set this up for you. Judges 4 The Israelites are back to acting up. God gives them over to this man Sisera and his awful people to get their attention. Did you know God would use basically any force necessary to get our attention and keep us aligned with His will? Yeah me neither..until recently. These men were MANY. They were armed, fitted with iron, and just cruel. And Israel cried out. Ever heard of Deborah? (I had not, new follower here) He chose her to go get the bad guys and save Israel, again. She and another man set up for battle. Less men, no iron, and no fight. But the Lord went first, ahead of them.. and they followed in faith. Guess what, they won. Surprised? Yeah, me neither BUT isn’t that easier said than done? You’re standing in a circle of girls, misfitted. You’re stepping towards this person, this problem, your struggle and it’s defeating you. Big, it is kicking your tail. You want to quit because you feel like you “just can’t” anymore. This is what Satan wants. He doesn’t just want Christians discouraged though. He wants them completely disarmed. It’s easy to feel scared or intimidated by something you feel ill equipped to handle. Here you are unarmed and society… life… is attacking you from all sides and they are wearingiron vests! Walk by faith. You do not need a vest to take on nasty looks, the talk, the finances, the problem. Let whoever use whatever ammunition they want. You have JESUS. And He walks ahead of you (Judges 4:14). And guess what guys, His resources are infinite… just like His love. Don’t be defeated. Do not give up. Stand in the group of girls. Push forward. Take the steps. The life we live is a battle. We fight with people. We fight with sin. We fight with ourselves and sometimes we feel like we’re up against the world. Jesus, y’all. HE IS THE ANSWER. And He’s not just here to fix our problems at our convenience; He’s here to fix our hearts. We can fight it as long as we want, but the battle.. it is already won. And with Jesus, so have you.